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January 27, 2010

Basic Facts About Parenting Teens

Parenting teens can be hard work! Here are some basic facts about parenting teens that if you take them into consideration, can make parenting teens easier. These facts about teens are well-known, logically. See which you are already doing – and which need some improvement.

Set Healthy Limits To What Your Kids See And Read

One of the facts about parenting teens is that we have to monitor what media our kids are exposed to. Kids have access to much more information than we did when we were their age. They often watch a lot of TV and movies – not just on the living room couch, but also over the internet. There are internet sites where you can watch previously aired episodes of television shows, as well as movies. With this much availability, it can be tough to monitor what they see and read. Set limits anyway. Let them know when a show isn’t acceptable. They may still find a way to view it, but at least your opinion is clear. Also, total time will be lower if you do set limits to the amount of time they can spend in front of the TV or computer.

Magazines and books can also be beyond the limits we would want for our homes and our children, so don’t be oblivious to what non-electronic media is entering your home. Be willing to say “not in my house” and make viewing such things more difficult for your teens.

Have Wise Rules

If you have your teenager help set the family rules and consequences, they will be more likely to follow them, as well as cooperate with consequences when they break the family rules. If your family includes step parenting, remember that “family rules” are much easier to enforce. This fact about parenting teens is easy to understand.

Parents Need To Be Informed

Your teen knows a lot about the viles of the world – the sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll – although now we aren’t worried so much about the rock ‘n’ roll as we are the other dangers out there. Teens tend to take more risks than we want, and experimentation with risky things can be among them. We can’t just ignore the tough topics, though. That won’t make them disappear; and if your teen doesn’t ask questions about sex or drugs, it doesn’t mean he or she hasn’t thought about trying them.

A fact about parenting teens is that the parents need to discuss the difficult topics with their kids before they are confronted by them along with peer pressure. They need to know that they are dangerous – and how we feel about them. If we have some experience in using (drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex…) it can be a particularly difficult conversation to have, but that makes it all the more important. Teens need to know how we feel about the tough stuff.

Know Who They Know

About parenting teens, it’s a fact that we need to know their friends, and their friend’s parents, too. If we know who they are talking about, their personalities, the red flags (if we see them) we will understand much better what is going on in our teenager’s life. And if we do see a red flag, our teen is more likely to respect our opinion than if we go on gut instinct alone. Knowing their parents can help us all keep track of our kids without appearing clingy or nosy. Talk to the other parents, and know who they’re really with, and when, and where.

January 24, 2010

Information To Help You In Parenting Your Teen

Parenting teenagers can be hard! Sometimes, you think things are fine between you and your pre-teen, then suddenly you realize they are now a teenager and they’re acting much more difficult to get along with than they used to. All parents can use some help when parenting teens.

There are many common ideas that can make parenting teens harder. Let’s take a look at some facts about teen parenting and find you help in parenting your teen.

The Truth Of The Matter

There are some truths about teens. Understanding them can help with parenting your teen. The teenage years can be harder just because of the conditions – ages and stages, stress within the family and from school, and how supported the teen feels from the family and school. Teens do not have a fully developed brain yet, and it is unrealistic to expect them to act like an adult when we think they should.

The Myths About Teens

If the relationship is peaceful, the relationship is good. It will help when parenting your teen if you bite the bullet and enforce the family’s reasonable rules. Don’t be afraid of a confrontation – sometimes they are necessary. But they can usually be done in a way that both parent and teenager’s egos are left intact.

If you get the right help in parenting your teen, you will be able to fix him. The truth is, you can’t fix anyone but yourself. But as you improve yourself and your responses to life’s curve balls, you can be in control of how yourself.

Teens would rather spend time with their friends than their parents. While it is true that friends become more important in these years, they still want to feel a connection with their parents. And, as we all know, friends come and go, but family is forever. If the teen has a low self-esteem or high anxiety issues, he will want the approval of his peers. If he has tools for handling stress he can use, the peers will have much less impact on his decision-making ability. The parenting help for your teen is to show them their value.

There are “bad kids.” Not true! Sometimes kids do things that are bad choices, but steer away from labeling your child. If a teen hears himself called a “bad kid,” it will be hard to forget and may influence his choices. For parenting your teen, a help is to let them overhear you telling others about the good things they do and their good qualities.

You should tell your teen everything – be totally open and honest. Oh boy – recipe for disaster there! Parents need to be role models for their children, and avoid the “doing like Dad did” syndrome. Better for the child to respect you and not know all the skeletons in your closet.

Teens never want to talk to their parents. It helps for parenting teens to remember that they but need available time and space to feel comfortable sharing with their parents. “Quality time” is often a myth – “ok, I’ve got 5 minutes, so what important thing should we talk about?” If there’s quiet time, and you are available, teens will open up and share about their lives. You can also listen in as they talk with their friends while you chauffer them from place to place. Keep an open mind and avoid being judgmental so they can feel free to talk.

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