There are many things that parents can do to make parenting teens better. Advice is sometimes given from the perspective of the giver, as “what worked for me.” There are school and community programs to help with parenting teens, and they offer advice, too. What are the best tips for making your way through those hormonal years? See below for some teen parenting advice.

Look Forward – And Backward

There’s a lot to be said for “ages and stages” learning. In other words, if you learn what typical behavior is for children of that age, when it happens to your child you won’t be blindsided. This method of educating works terrific for the preschool and elementary years, but what about during the teenage years? Is that good advice when parenting teens?

Learning about ages and stages is still a great benefit – but you can also remember what it was like for you. Were you always in a good mood? Likely not. Were you embarrassed when you woke to find a zit on your nose? Probably so. Remembering can help you as you deal with your teen – no one wants to be told that their concerns are “no big deal” – understanding can help. “I remember when I had that happen” can go a long way to building a connection with your teen.

Try To Empathize

Remember that it is normal to be self-conscious as a teenager, and to feel like everyone is watching you all the time. It’s also normal to sometimes feel grown and sometimes feel like a kid – to want adult priveledges and still want your teddy to hug at night. Good teen parenting advice is to not expect your teen to always act as mature as he does sometimes.

Pick Your Battles

There are enough issues that parents can fight over with their kids that you need to decide which are the deal-breakers for you. Hair grows (or can be cut!), fashion fads are just that – fads, and they won’t always want to wear black nail polish. Sometimes teens just want to shock their parents and other adults in their lives. Don’t let them scare you. The parenting teens advice on this topic? Save the energy for the bigger issues – like smoking, drugs, alcohol, and sex. Those are the issues to put your foot down on.

Have Expectations

Some parents thing that having expectations can frustrate their teen who feels they can’t live up to them. But teens need to know that their parents care enough to have expectations of them about such things as school, citizenship (no tagging in my neighborhood!), and drugs and alcohol use, as well as sexual behaviors. If the expectations are appropriate, teens will try to live up to them.

Despite whatever you’ve heard, parenting teens does not have to be hard and painful. If you follow a few important things, parenting your teen can be a joyful time in your lives, and a great building block to a positive future as adults together. Here are some helpful bits of advice for parenting teens.

Work For A Positive Relationship With Each Teenager

Try to have a good relationship with your teen. Be sure to be kind and courteous with them, and treat them with respect. They flourish with consistency and warmth, and fostering these qualities will help them have better feelings of self-worth, social abilities, and a spiritual connectedness to the world.

Be Interested In Their Activities

Oh, I know, you’re busy enough with your own life, who has time to keep track of their teens? But parenting is all about going above and beyond, so find a way to stay involved with your teen. It is a great way to keep better tabs on their behavior – school and leisure time – and to enforce the family’s rules (which hopefully your children were involved in setting) and the consequences for not following them. Also, if you are able to listen to your teenager talk about her friends and what’s going on in her life, she will be much more likely to talk to you if there is a problem she wants help with, or even just to run by you for input or an “instinct check.” It is over time of parenting that teens develop a trust in us, their parents, and become more willing to share things that are otherwise kept private.

Have Boundaries And Limits

While teens may say they want no rules or limits in their life, they actually appreciate knowing where the line is. They need to know what is expected of them, and how far is too far.  Teens appreciate parenting with firm boundaries to behavior, and they will often rise to the high standards they help set.

Encourage Your Teen Towards Independence

Teens whose parenting stresses the value of thinking for themselves and considering consequences prior to acting, will have a healthy sense of their value in life. They will also be more able to resist peer pressure, which can be highest during the teen years. Parenting skills that point out when their teens make wise choices can help their teen learn to see for themselves what the right choices are. As the parent, if you give your teens the encouragement to think for themselves, and help them recognize wise choices they’ve made, they will grow to have a healthy level of independence. They will be skilled at making decisions that are in their best interest – while not hurting anyone else.