Motivational speaker Ziglar says, “When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world.”

Raising positive kids in the wake of a divorce is a challenging but important task. Research suggests that, while children from divorced families suffer painful consequences, those who receive support, skills and information about their situation fare much better than those who don’t. One of the best ways parents can help their children cope with divorce is by helping themselves. Parent education classes enable parents to what their family is going through and how to best respond.

Co-Parenting Provides Positive Help

Co-parenting class provides divorced or separated parents with the tools to keep their children out of parental conflict. In co-parenting class, parents learn to commit to raising their children as best they can, in spite of their disagreements. Co-parenting is a phrase that describes a positive approach to parenting adopted by conscientious guardians sensitive to the difficulties their children face when parents undergo a separation or divorce.

More often than not divorces are marred by anger, resentment, disappointment and pain. When parents are not equipped with the techniques provided in co-parenting class, children are often implicated during conflict between parents. A parent may use children to obtain information about their former partner, or manipulate a former spouse by denying them access to the child. Such Machiavellian behaviour burdens children with unnecessary stress and trauma.

Co-parenting class helps separated and divorced parents build a cooperative relationship conducive to the well-being of their children. This improves the children’s ability to cope with the changing situation and adjust to the changes in family structure. While conflict is a probability, co-parenting class teaches parents to manage their conflict in child-friendly ways. Co-parenting approaches the disruptive divorce process looking for positive and constructive solutions for the entire family. The intention is to minimise the hurt felt by the most vulnerable and sensitive members of the family: the children.

Co-parenting class teaches parents how to avoid putting their children in the middle of their divorce. Parents who commit to establishing a common understanding for the sake of their children are better at co-parenting. Communication between the separate parties is vital. Both the parents and the child(ren) should have a clear understanding of the schedule. Necessary changes to the routine should be made known as soon as possible. Prepare your child positively for stays with the other parent. Your child should not act as your confidant, bill collector or spy.

These are just a few of the pointers provided during co-parenting class. Divorced parents who agree to attend co-parenting class have taken the first positive step towards providing a nourishing, loving environment for their children. With faith, hope and love, they will be able to raise positive kids, despite the negative world of their broken marriage.

In his book ‘Family First’ TV therapist Dr. Phil advises divorced parents to commit to affirmatively committing to a family and parenting strategy that will enable their child to flourish in a divorced home. Dr. Phil suggests divorced parents discourage children from defaming the other parent; agree on visitations, holidays and events; set common disciplinary boundaries and actively communicate with one another.

Dr. Phil’s sound advice for divorced parents is based on the principles of co-parenting. In co-parenting class divorced parents are encouraged to overcome their differences and cooperate in the raising of their children. Co-parenting centres on the well-being of the children. Parents who attend divorce parenting classes are well equipped to guide their children through the process of divorce.

Along with a list of recommendations, Dr. Phil also provides a list of mistakes divorced parents typically make when raising children. He cautions parents against sabotaging a child’s relationship with the other parent, using a child to manipulate a former spouse, forcing a child to chose a side when conflict arises between parents and spoiling a child materially out of guilt over the divorce. Parents are discouraged from making these mistakes but encouraged to learn through divorce parenting classes.

Constance Ahrons is a San Diego psychologist and author of ‘The Good Divorce’ who advises divorcing parents to limit conflict. ‘I always tell separating couples to try and minimize the transitions,’ she said. ‘If there’s any way to hold on to the house and have the kids stay there, do it. Keep the conflict to a minimum and never put the children in the middle.’

The Content of Classes

Divorce parenting classes cover a comprehensive range of issues you are likely to come across, including: how to discuss divorce with children, designing a workable parenting plan, how to create a healthy home environment, avoiding the most common parenting mistakes, the legal aspects of divorce, the most common step-family issues, healthy communication and co-parenting skills, typical child reactions and how to deal with them, signs of abuse, economic realities of divorce, strategies for dealing with a difficult parent, what kids need to maintain stability, helping children through transition issues, helping your child adjust to two households and managing your own emotional reactions.

Experts agree that conflict is undoubtedly bad for children. Divorce parenting classes facilitate conflict resolution between parents and reduce the likelihood of children witnessing violent outbursts between parents. Marriage and family therapist Craig Ogulnick confirms the benefit of parenting courses.

‘The bottom line with our program and others like it is to show [separating] parents that there is a way to give their kids a fair shot at a better childhood,” says Craig Ogulnick, who is a marriage and family therapist. “The research is clear that divorce with conflict is unquestionably bad for the kids.”

Most studies agree that divorce is hard on children but recent studies suggest divorce need not be devastating. When parents attend divorce parenting classes and apply the lessons they learn, their children are more likely to handle the transition.